Now we have the salad: City and Chelsea are in the Champions League final. As a consolation, there is Portuguese A1, exclusive tutoring on sports terms and a preview of the Ballermann-Hit 2021. The final will be shit … but we still report: The alternative list of the semi-finals.
Blood vessels to: It was a difficult choice for all football fans with a touch of decency. Those who like to nibble down-to-earth on half-burned sausages or have already seen the inside of the BWT stadium at the Hardtwald: Who are you stopping at at El Golfico, El Cashico? No matter how you twisted it, the thought of Manchester City against PSG was never really pleasant. On the one hand, the Citizens, actually banned from the premier class because of falsification of accounts, who complained about the CAS in the competition and thus were a bit the final gravedigger of the Financial Fair Play (and as a founding member of the Super League, probably also generally liked it would find bludgeoning football as such). On the other hand, PSG, very, very selflessly not on board with the coolest idea in football history, but in the end still PSG. Neymar, Leandro Paredes – it doesn’t take an AstraZeneca to dangerously close your blood vessels (a cutting-edge JOKE). The only sympathetic thing from the first leg were the goals of the English: A flank that unintentionally slipped into the far corner and a free kick straight through the wall – two stalls that were better at the Kacktoren of the month Zeigler’s wonderful world of football would be canceled. Well, admittedly: Also the Twitter live ticker from ManCity’s noble fan Liam Gallagher had his moments …
Another important thing: My pleasure.
It’s not particularly silly, is it ?: Referee Dr. Flexi B., on the other hand, was pretty busy. For example, when Idrissa Gueye started perhaps the most anti-social foul of the season and knocked down Ilkay Gündogan. Red. Or when shortly afterwards Kevin De Bruyne massaged Danilo’s span with his cleats a little awkwardly and the referee had to explain to a very angry, very loud and very numerous delegation from Paris that it was not “the same”. What nobody could have guessed: Everything should only be a subtle foretaste of the second leg. In the run-up to it, Neymar announced that he would do everything to reach the finals, “even if I have to die on the pitch”. Once he was just about to hear him “Kuschelbär” Bernardo Silva (Sandro Wagner at DAZN) grazed. Otherwise it was again the stubborn Parisians who happily sizzled around each other according to the motto “If we don’t win, we’ll at least destroy the people for them”. Angel Di Maria looked after a very successful homage to that Ministry of Silly Walks smooth red, and Danilo and Presnel Kimpembe also submitted meaningful applications for a dismissal, but Björn Kuipers spared them. And what is the thanks? “He said ‘fuck you’ to me a few times!” Said Marco Verratti after the game. At the end of the whole misery, three realizations remained: Manchester City is in the Champions League final for the first time. Björn Kuipers – cool guy. And the Parisians are perhaps not the white knights of European football, but a collection of characters with rather questionable characters.
Speaking of questionable character: You can always see things from two sides. On the one hand, it can of course chase a stomach-turning cocktail of horror and foreign shame through the bloodstream if the former national goalkeeper Jens Lehmann wants to ignite a racist pun and then, oops, accidentally directly to the victim of his stupid talk, in the most recent case on Tuesday in the Sky-Studio acting as expert Dennis Aogo whatsappt. But you can also just praise Mad Jens that Mad Jens didn’t even use the N-word and that all the excitement is being sterilized again by some politically incorrect MEDIA. And as an example: Back then, with the Hitzelsperger and being gay, Lehmann once said himself, he was so intelligent, you didn’t even notice! But the Aogo … well. Did he just see Jens.
Too much demmbo: A week later, Miss Silva sounded a little different. Werner was almost adored (“You are the best, my friend!”) In her next analysis after the international striker, while standing on the goal line, headed a ball into the goal that had tumbled off the crossbar (0 percent chance). Quasi a tip-in, as one would say in basketball, which a research among current and former SPOX editors, who are always helpful, has shown. A little more freestyle was then offered in the following 34 major chances, which the Blues shot so consistently everywhere except for the Madrid goal that the appearance of Bayern in the quarter-finals against PSG looks almost efficient in retrospect. Even the recently so cheerful Thomas Tuchel had to angrily boot against the props in his coaching zone. And real? Attentive List readers know that we normally don’t miss any opportunity to drag Wholesalers through the cocoa in their white tutus. But little came from Zinedine Zidane’s squad. So, in terms of football and list input. They were just a bit of a shit in general and couldn’t really get along with Chelsea’s “Demmbo” (Lothar Matthäus). After all, Eden Hazard was still having a little fun. In the end it was 2-0 for the Blues, so the Super League final is City against Chelsea. We can hardly wait. Maybe we’ll just watch City against Chelsea on Saturday so we don’t have to wait that long. And can go to bed earlier on the 29th.